#94 Why “I’m Not Ready” Is Stealing Your Dreams

How many times have you said to yourself, “I’m not ready”? Maybe it shows up when you are about to have the hard conversation, set the boundary, make the change, or go after the thing your heart keeps circling. But what if hesitation is not about timing at all, and is actually fear, self-doubt, or old conditioning trying to keep you safe?

In Episode 94 of The Billy Boss Show, Why “I’m Not Ready” Is Stealing Your Dreams, we unpack how fear of starting can quietly masquerade as logic, especially for women navigating self-worth, confidence, perfectionism, and healing. This is a grounded conversation about self-doubt, how childhood trauma affects confidence, and how to stop holding yourself back so you can build self-trust and take one small, brave step forward.

Tune in to hear all of this and more:

[00:00:00] - Welcome
[00:01:20] - The Biggest Dream Stealer Hiding in Plain Sight
[00:02:12] - When “I’m Not Ready” Is Really Fear in Disguise
[00:04:16] - The Fear Beneath Delay, Self-Doubt, and Hesitation
[00:06:22] - Why Women Stay Stuck in Readiness Mode
[00:08:39] - Hesitation, Old Wounds, and Nervous System Protection
[00:11:05] - Discernment or Avoidance? How to Tell the Difference
[00:14:28] - Confidence Is Built Through Action, Not Before It
[00:16:00] - Five Steps to Move Forward Before You Feel Ready
[00:21:02] - Why It Is Not Too Late to Begin Now

To explore this message more deeply with added reflection and support, visit the blog article at www.billyboss.com/94

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Transcript

Welcome

Billy Boss 0:00

Welcome to today's episode of the Billy Boss Show, the pathway to healing, self-love and confidence. I'm your host, Billy Boss, and I'm so grateful that you are here with me. And if this is your first time here, welcome. I'm glad that you are part of this journey, and no doubt there is a reason why you landed here on this show. So thank you and welcome. Also make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss a beat. And please leave us a five-star review because your support really means and matters so much to us, to our audience. And your support is highly appreciated. So in advance, thank you very much. New episodes are released every Tuesday. Today I've got something nicely packed for you, something special, and no doubt all of us can relate to it. And no doubt, all of us, well, this is my guarantee, all of us at some stage, we did mention this sentence that is the biggest dream stealer of all. So today's episode it's all about the biggest dream stealer of all.

The Biggest Dream Stealer Hiding in Plain Sight

Billy Boss 1:20

And that particular sentence that we all do say over and over again, it often hides in plain sight. In other words, that dream stealer is often very common, very, very common, very, very familiar or close to us. So we overlook it and we don't really realise how much it is affecting us. It really sounds responsible, it really sounds thoughtful, it really sounds mature too. But the truth is it has stolen more dreams, it has stolen so much purpose, so much healing and more potential than most people realise. Are you ready to hear? Well, here it comes. I'm not ready. I'm not ready. How many times have you said to yourself,

When “I’m Not Ready” Is Really Fear in Disguise

Billy Boss 2:12

I'm not ready? I'm not ready. No doubt I have done this so many times, and day to day I catch myself and I'll like, oh my gosh, why did I say that? So today I'll do my best to try to deliver to you why do we say I'm not ready? What is behind it, and really how can we overcome that? So going back to I'm not ready, I really want you to think for yourself. How many times have you said that to yourself? I'm not ready to start, I'm not ready to leave, I'm not ready to speak up, I'm not ready to post the next video, I'm not ready to launch my business, I'm not ready to say yes, I'm not ready to set my boundaries, I'm not ready to be seen, I'm not ready to be promoted. Whatever that is for you, can you just sit for a moment and start to think for yourself how many times if you become more conscious of your sentence, I'm not ready with whatever it follows up, no doubt you'll be starting catching yourself on a daily basis. I'm not ready to get up earlier. I'm not ready to eat healthier because and we always have something coming beyond that. And on surface, this sounds harmless. But for so many women, and no doubt men, in here, I do actually tend to speak to women, but thank you for these beautiful men that are here also on a weekly basis and listening to this show. So for both men and women, I'm not ready. It is not a wisdom. For so many of us, this is not a wisdom. Rather, this is fear dressed up in a logic. It is self-protection disguised as timing. No doubt. It could be an old wound trying to keep you safe from the discomfort of growth. Because whatever we would like to be doing, whatever we are not ready for, guess what? No doubt that particular thing needs some changes. No doubt that particular thing needs us to show up differently. So sometimes it is the fear of the growth that keeps stuck, and that is an old wound trying to keep you safe from the discomfort of growth. Because whatever we are going

The Fear Beneath Delay, Self-Doubt, and Hesitation

Billy Boss 4:16

or aiming to do differently in our life, we need to grow. We need next level of transformation. We need to show up differently. And what I want to say in here with so much love, care, respect, and compassion, because I can relate to this. When we as women and when men keep repeating I'm not ready, what we are often saying is this I am scared. I'm scared that I might fail. I'm scared that I'll be judged. I'm scared that I won't be good enough. I'm scared that people will see me. And I'm scared that people will reject me. I'm scared that if I truly go for what I really want, and if it doesn't work out, it will confirm every painful thing that I've ever believed about myself, and that comes down to I'm not good enough. I don't deserve this, I can't do this. So it will confirm all of those negative beliefs that are connected to our open wounds. And that is why this is really important to understand. What is underneath? In some certain cases, maybe this doesn't apply. But majority of the time, this is what is underneath the scarcity. And this really matters to know what is underneath because when we don't tell ourselves the truth, we cannot heal, we cannot do better, we cannot change. If we keep calling it readiness, we will never actually address the fear. If we always come up with, I'm not ready, well, we will never ever address the fear and scarcity behind. We will stay stuck in delay, we will stay stuck in planning, we'll stay stuck in overthinking. We will also tell ourselves that one day at some magic point in the future, could be five, ten years from now, we will finally feel ready enough to begin. But the truth is, most people never feel fully ready for the things that matter the most. And maybe this could be you. Maybe you don't

Why Women Stay Stuck in Readiness Mode

Billy Boss 6:22

always feel ready to speak your truth. Maybe you don't always feel ready to leave the relationship that is draining your that's very toxic for you. Maybe you don't always feel ready to be, or maybe you don't feel always ready to choose a different life for you. And no doubt, most of the time you just get to the point where staying where you are becomes more painful than moving forward, than doing something about it. And I think this is especially relevant for us women. Again, it works both ways, but why do I say for women? Because many of us women have been conditioned from a very young age to doubt themselves, to question themselves, to be careful, to be liked, to be agreeable, to be responsible for everybody else's comfort. And by doing that, we shrink our truth in order to feel safe. Certainly, I have been taught this way. Just agree with everything, respect everybody, respect elderly people, do not talk back. As a woman, you really need to take care of everybody else. So this is why I'm saying for many women, this is more relevant for women. Not saying that men cannot relate to this. So when a woman says, I'm not ready, often there is a much deeper story underneath. Maybe she was criticised growing up. Maybe she was made to feel like she's too loud, too emotional, or too much. Maybe she was ignored unless she performed. She really needed to show off that she is capable of doing something. Otherwise, she is ignored. Maybe she grew up in a chaos and learned that safety comes from staying small and not to be seen. Maybe she learned that mistakes led to shame. Or maybe she learned that being seen leads to pain. Or maybe being vulnerable is dangerous. So to all of my beautiful women out there listening to this right now, where do you see yourself? Where do you see yourself? Have you been brought up in an environment where you continuously have been criticised, put down, told that you're too much? Or maybe you have learned that just staying small and quiet it's a safe place for you. That mistakes were not allowed or they are not safe. Where do you see yourself? So now

Hesitation, Old Wounds, and Nervous System Protection

Billy Boss 8:39

as an adult, you have a dream, you have a desire, you have that instinct, you have something inside of you that wants more, but your nervous system constantly is remembering your old pain. And this is very important to understand because hesitation is not always laziness. Procrastination is not always lack of discipline. Sometimes what it looks like self-sabotage, it is actually self-protection. And what would happen if I said to you that there is no such a thing like self-sabotage, but everything is subconscious strategy. What were you saying? Well, this is another topic for some other time when you talk about self-sabotage and subconscious strategy. Now, it is your system trying to keep you safe based on what it has learned before. And this is why healing your beautiful self matters so much. Because if you do not understand the wound beneath the pattern, you will keep judging yourself for the patterns. Let me say that again. If you do not understand the wound beneath of what you are continuously doing on a daily basis, you will keep judging yourself for the pattern because there is already pattern, survival patterns. And those patterns, they got you where you are now. But now some of them they actually need to be tweaked a little bit, rewired a little bit to get out of the comfort zone and start really reaching your potential and your goals. And for that reason, you will call yourself lazy when really you are just afraid. You will call yourself inconsistent when really you are dregulating. You will call yourself unmotivated when really you are caring, unresolved shame. And so many men and women are doing that. They're being so harsh on themselves for not moving forward while never pausing to really ask what's really important. And that is what part of me is afraid? What old pain is being activated here? What am I actually protecting myself from? Now, if you keep asking yourself these three questions, you will somehow find out what it's really stopping you. So what part of me is afraid? What old pain is being activated here? And what am I actually protecting myself from? By saying that, I also want to mention something in here.

Discernment or Avoidance? How to Tell the Difference

Billy Boss 11:05

There is a difference between genuine discernment and fear. And sometimes something truly is not aligned. So when we say that we are not ready, then sometimes something truly is not aligned. Maybe timing genuinely is not right right now. Sometimes your intuition, your feeling is guiding you to pause. But very often that is not what is happening. So there is also difference with the alignment, timing, feeling that intuition, but very often that is not what's happening in here. So you be the judge if your I'm not ready is on autopilot. So you be the judge if I'm not ready is on autopilot and you are running away from something, or genuinely, truly, something is not aligned, not right now, or your intuition is really telling you it can't happen now. But very often, what is happening is that your next level requires a version of you that your old identity does not yet know how to be. So we do pause because whatever we are diving into, into the new chapter, we really need to change some certain ways of our thinking, feeling, and behaving. And that feels uncomfortable. If you haven't done it before, it does feel uncomfortable. Your dream will ask more of you than what you're doing right now. It will ask for more visibility, maybe more honesty, more taking risks, more trusting yourself and others around you. It will ask for action before certainty. And that is where many people freeze. And this is where I used to be. And when I catch myself day to day, I do question myself. What am I afraid from? What all pain is being activated here? What am I actually protecting myself from? So yes, I catch myself. And it happens to all of us. And just because getting out of our comfort zone, doing things differently, majority of people they keep their dreams in their mind. Why? Because it feels safer than bringing it in reality. And why do I share this? Because when I speak to many women and men, they will always say, I've got a dream. It's all in my head. Why is it in your head? And I'll tell you why people have their dreams in their head, why they keep their dreams only in their head. Because I dream in their mind, in your mind can stay perfect, it can stay protected, it can stay untouched by failure. There is no judgment or disappointment if it's in your mind. But the moment you start working on your dream, it becomes real. And real things can wobble a little bit. Real things can be very messy. Real things can challenge your ego, my ego, real things can stretch you beyond who you have been till this moment. And still, that's where life is. Not in the perfect plan, not in the waiting, not in the someday. It is in the doing, it is in becoming, it is the willingness to move before you feel fully

Confidence Is Built Through Action, Not Before It

Billy Boss 14:28

prepared. And I really want all of you to listen to this today, to hear me when I say this. Your confidence is not going to arrive first and then you will act. In fact, very often your confidence is built because of your action, because you act. Confidence is not what you wait for. Confidence is what you create through self-trust. And self-trust is built every time that you do the things that you said you were going to do it. Every time you show up for yourself while afraid, every time you honor your word, every time you stop abandoning yourself. That is how self-trust is built. Confidence is skill, and skill can be learned. If you're craving even more inspiration and real talk to fuel your confidence and success, I've got something special for you. Make sure you join my weekly dose of love. It's feel good email that lands in your inbox every Tuesday, packed with motivation, mindset tips, and tools to help you thrive in life and business. You can sign up at billyboss.com or simply click the link in the show notes wherever you're listening to this episode. Go on, give yourself that little boost of love each week because you deserve it. So let's talk about how to move through this dream stealer.

Five Steps to Move Forward Before You Feel Ready

Billy Boss 16:00

The first step is this. Tell yourself the truth. Yes, tell yourself the truth. Instead of saying I'm not ready, I'll go back to the question. Ask yourself, what is the truth underneath this? Am I scared of failing? Am I scared that I'll be embarrassing myself? Am I scared that people will judge me? Am I scared of outgrowing people? Am I scared of success? This can be sometimes the biggest challenge with many people. They're scared of success. Am I scared that if this matters to me and it doesn't work, that I will be hurt? It's very important to tell yourself the truth. That level of truth is where healing starts because once you tell the truth, you can support yourself properly. You can work with fear, you can soothe fear, you can hold fear, but you cannot heal what you refuse to name. So name it what it is. Then the second step is stop waiting for fear to disappear. This is huge. People waiting for fear to disappear. I can tell you now, it will never leave you. Healing does not mean that you will never feel fear again. Healing means that fear is no longer running your life. Healing means fear may come along for the right, but it no longer gets to hold the steering wheel. You can be afraid and still move forward. You can be uncertain and still begin your project. You can be uncomfortable and still be aligned. So, my friend, fear will never just leave you. Learn to work with fear. Now the third step is take one small brave step. Most of us, what we do, we just jump deep or jump high. But start with a small brave step. And no 10 steps, only one. Whatever that is, send that message. Apply for the troll. Record that first video, write it first page of the book that you have been saying to yourself that you're going to write. Start the conversation. Set your boundary. Ask for support. Put your idea into motion. Tiny, brave step matters. Because they start giving your nervous system new evidence. When you start on a small steps, it is very important that your nervous system is now gaining the evidence. And through that evidence, your confidence is growing. And that evidence, when it's there, it says, I can do hard things, I can survive through discomfort. I can trust myself. I do not need to wait until I feel perfect. The fourth step is learn to recognise the difference between preparation and hiding. This is so powerful. So learning to recognise the difference between preparation and hiding. Ask yourself honestly, am I preparing or am I hiding? Because many people, they spend so much time, it can be days, months, sometimes years, preparing for something. In fact, if we pause and if we ask ourselves, are we really honest with ourselves? Could it be hiding instead of just preparation? Because there is a season for preparation. Of course there is, but a lot of people live there forever. They'll keep learning, planning, fixing, tweaking, waiting, consuming, and telling themselves that one more course, one more month, one more sign, one more burst of confidence will finally make them feel ready. So are you really preparing or are you hiding? And what happens most of the time, it's not that you need more preparation. In fact, you need more courage. And that brings us to fifth step build evidence on self-trust. As we just mentioned before, confidence, it is built with your self-trust. If you want to stop saying, I'm not ready, you need to become someone who trusts yourself. That means keeping promise to yourself. That means following through. That means doing what you said you want to do. That means backing your own voice. It means not abandoning your desire the moment they become inconvenient or uncomfortable. Once you get into the habit of following through and doing all of these steps, self-trust changes everything. Because when you trust yourself, you stop needing perfect conditions. You stop needing guaranteed outcomes. You stop needing everybody to understand. When you have that trust, you know that even if it's hard, if it's challenging, you will be there for you. You trust yourself. And that's where the real power sits. Now I really want to speak to these women and men who has delayed daydreams for so long

Why It Is Not Too Late to Begin Now

Billy Boss 21:02

that now they feel shame about even wanting it. Maybe you've told yourself that it is too late. I should have done this years ago. What's the point now? Other people are already ahead. I wasted too much time. Please hear me with so much love. Shame is another dream stealer. And shame will always try to convince you that because you didn't begin sooner, you should not begin at all. But that is not the truth. The truth is you're here now. The truth is that your desire is still alive for a reason. You may not be able to go back and know. And oh. You may not be able to go back and begin where it would have felt easier, but you can begin now with more wisdom. You can begin now with more depth, with more truth, with more self awareness than you had before. That's what matters. So my friend. If this episode is finding you in a season where you have been telling yourself that I'm not ready, I want to leave you with a few questions. And here they come. Where in my life am I using that sentence? What am I truly afraid of? What old wound might be underneath this hesitation? What is the one small brave step that I can take this week? And what might become possible if I stop waiting to feel completely ready? Because maybe readiness is not what you need. Maybe honesty is what you need. Maybe self-trust is what you need. Maybe support is what you need. Maybe healing is what you need. But most of all, maybe you need to stop letting fear speak in your voice. You do not need to become fearless to begin. You don't need to be fully healed to begin. You don't need everybody's approval to begin. You don't need certainty to begin. What you need instead is a willingness to start. What you need instead is willingness to stop abandoning yourself. Be there for yourself. Your dream does not require a perfect version of you. It really requires a truthful one. It requires a present one, but it requires a willing one. It requires a woman who is done waiting for future version of herself to finally give her permission to live. It requires a man who is done waiting for future version of himself to finally give him permission to live. So if this speaks to your beautiful heart today, let this be your reminder. I'm not ready, may feel safe, but it's not always true. The life you want may be waiting on the other side of one honest moment and one brave step. So thank you so much for being here with me today. If this episode resonates with you, please share with a friend who may be holding themselves back with exact words, I'm not ready. And if you haven't already, make sure that you do subscribe to Billy Boss Show so you don't miss a beat. New episodes are here on every Tuesday. I'm your host, Billy Boss, and I'm so grateful that you are here with me. Now, if no one told you today, let me have that pleasure. You are enough and you are deserving. I will see you in the next episode.